"Mierda, nada más hay pene." (Refiriéndome a la pasta)
De verdad, a estas alturas, debería dejar de pensar en voz alta. Esto es cosa de cada semana, mínimo.

Ya ni sé. Esto pasó en Omegle y creo que es hermosamente disturbante. You es el pseudonimo anónimo forzado que tomé y la otra persona es, como el nombre implica, alguien extraño, cerdo y desconsiderado. Casi acababa mi historia. 


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You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Question to discuss:

do you know roleplay? give an example

Stranger: fuck me

You: I put my wizard hat on

Stranger: fuck me dumbledore

You: Then I unleash a million spirit stallions that ravish your anus

You: in a wet mushy pulp that throbs with every heartbeat of my magic infused cock

Stranger: fuck me hard

You: invisible imps cum in you elf ears and pull you by your licorice hair

You: A nearby buffalo roars as he pleases himself in a pool of plastic balls

You: The sheer exstacy of his orgasm thunders in the whole continent

You: And a scar on the land that shall be remembered by entire generations

Stranger: cool

You: Women cower in fear, children look hopefully to the sky, women become strangely pregnant, and the earth rumbles while a tsunami of sperm that coats entire cities and innocent, dumbfounded villagers and entrepreneurs indiscriminately

You: then i bit ur nipple

Stranger: wow apparently im pregnant now

Stranger: so thats what that mark was

You: no, the mark was a scorched penis that can only be seen in space

Stranger: ok then whats the mark on my ass

You: the mark that i left you is a minuscule and complex neutron alteration that triggers your endorphins and indulge you in a dreamy orgasm every time you take a dump

You: and jog

Stranger: wow ok thats weird

You: the buffalo is a lingering spirit of a long forgotten indhu god

You: So

You: yeah

You: did I fucked you good, love?

You: -Gandalf asks

Stranger: wow ok you had me til the dump part

You: at the cold response from his lover, Merlin's virile and veiny penis shrinks into a clitoris, and his mouth slurs passionate words about floods and doom

You: his clit is exposed to the world, and caressed by the wind itself

You: A single tear sprouts from his clitoris, and falls to the ground

You: Dumbledore screams in pain for his children, his comrades, and an ass long gone

Stranger: um ok it was fine til the dump you knoe

You: Micky the magician shrugs at such silly notions

You: "Everything is permitted in the game of love", he retorts. "Haven't you heard that song that Santanna sings, "The Game of Love"

You: When he finished the latter sentence, he motions for an invisible guitar that he holds the way an old woman would hold an old goat filled with milk

Stranger: oh god lol

Stranger: your too imaginative

You: Babidi's grimace turns into a luscious and quite stupid grin. His clit is filled in a millisecond by his blood, enabling new and exciting pleasures that demand your carnal touch and condescendant encouragement

You: "More, my love." Wizardmon gleefully exclaims.

Stranger: how does a guy have a clit i thought that was for girls

You: "Shower me with your milk and wisdom". Dumbledore grabs his silken shirt, and blushes like a sophomore virgin with hopes of becoming the school slut. In a quick, dexterous and lighting-swift motion, he lifts his see through skirt for you to see, and closes his eyes in response when his shy demeanor turns to a boil

You: Teasing you, he coats his index finger with his own sacred old man drool and plays with his nipple, lubing it up. The nipple springs up to attention as a ready for duty russian soldier, showing the strong sexual intent of Gandalf

Stranger: wtf you have multipul personalities lol

You: Merlin rubs his beard in a sultrious manner, and sways his old wrinkled hips as he walks to you, his swaying gait a little oddly paced. He stares at your eyes, deeply. He -rapes- your eyes, and you can smell his strong pheromones in the air mixing into an unholy surplus of gas with his sweat.

You: He lets you take a peek at his underwear, and let's go of his skirt, gasping for air

You: Winking at you while blushing like a tomato, he says "B-Big bro, m-my c-clit is yours to command." Kadabra unexpectedly lets out a moan, fruit of his exhibitionism fetish and looks to the ground, hoping that his next fart is a silent and one.

You: In the rice fields that you are, a local yellow chinese guy screams "OY, XIE XIE CHEF RAMSAY"

You: The wizard of Oz's sexual peak is nigh. His breathing is heavy, and his words slurred
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Y se desconectó, dejándome con ideas y "blue balls", que es costumbre. 

Me matan las ganas de orinar. Tengo dos gallos en el bolsillo derecho que le compré a un vendedor de cigarros y papitas en la calle. Estoy en el centro hacia a los taxis en la tercera a la una de la mañana.
Salgo del seven eleven después de ser fríamente rechazado la oportunidad de usar el baño por treinta baros.

Una morra camina muy rápido. Un vejete la sigue. Ella le dice "Ya, déjame en paz".

Estoy demasiado ebrio como para procesarlo y actuar rápido. Sigo caminando, repasando lo que acaba de pasar. Pienso, qué excusa de ser humano soy si por lo menos no le pregunto si la está molestando.


Llego a la esquina de los taxis. Decido hacer algo, lo que sea. Empiezo a correr como pedo hacia la primera, la dirección a la que vi a la morra ir. Doy en la segunda, doy vuelta, llego a la catedral. En la esquina de mi ojo, veo luces rojas y azules alternando. Recuerdo mis gallos. Sigo corriendo la misma velocidad, la conciencia me violaría si dejo de buscar a la morra.

Cruzo la calle. Hay personas hablando en la esquina, quizás fumando tabaco.
No sé, no me importa. Justo cuando piso la otra banqueta, escucho "Ey, ustedes! Morros!"
Volteo rápido, me preparo para lo peor; una noche sin mis botas, sin dinero, y dormir con el olor de orina y tonaya presente.

Los placas se pararon vilmente en la esquina, obstruyendo carros atrás. Los placas les preguntan si tienen bronca. Si hubiera tratado de disimular, y hubiera seguido caminando por el mismo lado de la calle, me hubieran

Dejo de correr. Solo camino muy rápido. Un don sin los dientes de enfrente camina a la misma altura que yo, me dice que "A esos gueyes ya les cargó la verga". Le confieso que tengo dos gallos, y que me acabo de salvar súper masivo. Me dice que no camine tan rápido, que se va a ver sospechoso. Le cuento que pasa, y que si la ve, que le ayude. Lo dejé atrás. Se queda callado. Me grita "Simón, está cabrón! Muy cabrón".

Llego a la primera, no veo nada. Corro hacia arriba. Esquivo transexuales con agilidad increíble. Improviso excusas como "tengo prisa", "nada más tengo veinte pesos", "estoy casado", "soy menor de edad", "nou habla españowl" entre otros para evadir sus negocios.  Mientras corro, pienso en Corazón valiente y Michael Jordan. Quizás algo así sintieron.

No encuentro nada, después de recorrer la selva de penes en falda.
Mierda. El lunes veré las noticias después no verlas nunca, y si veo algo negativo relacionado a eso, me voy a tirar a un pantano llena de caimanes como retribución. Quizás veré Precious de inicio a fin mientras como nieve en un camisón y lloro con George Michael en el fondo.